If the President of the United States is descending into total madness, and we continue to laugh at this insanity, does that make us a nation of nutjobs?
The nutjob-calling President Trump has his damned finger on the button, for God’s sake! The most unhinged man ever to occupy the White House literally holds the fate of the planet in his hands.
If that isn’t a laugh riot, I don’t know what is!
This is like laughing all the way to the electric chair.
So is the nutjob-calling President actually himself a nutjob of the it-takes-one-to-know-one kind?
Here then, the most recent, most bizarre, nutjob moments in a coupla clinically insane weeks:
8. Trump cancels his speech atop Masada in Israel because the Israelis won’t let him land his helicopter atop the World Heritage Site.
Hey Bibi! My helicopter is bigger than your cable car.
7. The President gives up classified Israeli-fed information about ISIS to two Russian diplomats, declaring, “I get great intel! I have people brief me on great intel every day.”
My intel is bigger than your intel, Vlad.
6. Repeating one of his dawn tweets, Trump announces “The entire (Russian collusion investigation) has been a witch hunt. This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!” (Bill Clinton might dispute that.)
When it comes to hunting witches … my hunt is definitely bigger than your hunt, HillBilly.
5. Politico reports that President Trump is seriously considering sabotaging the health care of at least 20 million Americans enrolled in Obamacare — including 4.4 million children — just to get his way.
Trumpcare is so much bigger than Obamacare.
4. Trump asks FBI Director James Comey to make the Russian investigation go away, “I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go,” Comey’s notes indicate. Comey refused, Comey got the ax.
My tool is waaay bigger than your tool.
3. Giving new meaning to the term “Don,” we find out Don Trump asked the director of the F.B.I. to pledge his loyalty like Luca Brasi in Don Corleon’s den. Comey refused and Comey got the boot in the butt.
My boot, not to mention my butt, is also so much bigger than your boot — and butt.
2. Trump indicates his top choice for new FBI director is former Connecticut Sen. Joe Lieberman despite the fact that Lieberman has zero law enforcement experience. Lieberman does, however, have experience working in Donald Trump’s attorney’s law firm. Joe’s 75 years old and the FBI gig is a 10-year appointment — unless Trump decides to fire him.
My position is much bigger than your position. Not to mention my hands.
1. Trump tries to impress the Ruskie diplos by reportedly telling them, “I just fired the head of the FBI. He was crazy, a real nutjob.”
All together now! My nuts are waaay bigger than your nuts. Believe me.
SUSAN SARANDON TURNS UP THE HEAT
Susan Sarandon at 70 can still knock ’em dead better than the kopykat Kardashians. Sarandon strutted her stuff — both of her stuffs actually — in Cannes in a hot velvet gown. No, it really WAS hot. The temp in Cannes matched her age.
Sarandon, hot (again) off playing an aging Bette Davis in “Feud,” also tweeted out a photo of herself at Cannes back in 1978, sans shirt, only blazer. This is how it’s done Kim. Sarandon in both instances manages to be show stopper — not a sleazy showboater.
And, unlike the Kardashians, she still has the ability to smile and scowl. Good thing she can act, she’d never make it on reality TV.
DE NIRO BECOMES MADOFF
No lie. You gotta, gotta, gotta watch Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer playing the dispicable Madoffs tonight on HBO’s “Wizard of Lies.”
De Niro is so convincing as the sociopathic, mean bastard who undermined the economy of the United States for his own personal scam that I seriously wanted to smack him but good at the premier. Pfeiffer, on the other hand, plays the supposedly clueless wife Ruth so convincingly that for a second I almost felt sorry for her. For a second.
DING DONG AILES IS DEAD
Roger Ailes, the lech who killed decency in TV news, is dead — and that’s the first good news we’ve heard about that monster in months.
Ailes, the reportedly Viagra-fueled beast, created Fox News — and with it, a nightmare newsroom that he thought of as his harem. This is the man who shamefully built Fox TV news into a right-wing, opinion-as-news propaganda powerhouse.
After Gretchen Carlson exposed the beast in his lair and other women came forward, he got the boot — and 40 million big ones as his parting gift.
In his golden hovel of an empire, Ailes built a news network that was every old man’s fantasyland. Disgusting, lecherous nearly has-been male reporters with laughable combovers and big-belly guts the size of elephant tumors were turned into Fox on-camera gods.
Women journalists, meantime, more often than not, were built like porn stars and dressed like high-priced escorts. Still are.
Sexual harassment was what got him kicked to the curb, sure, but the collateral damage he did to women the world over by making sure all Fox females were foxy females is one of his more grotesque legacies.
Thanks to Ailes, female broadcast journalists are required to be arm candy for the masses.
Megyn Kelly even worked the Republican National Convention in a little spaghetti strap number as — what — a mark of progress?
Lots of people have been eulogizing Roger Ailes as a genius. Evil genius is more like it.
Ailes’ widow called him a loving husband. Who was her previous husband, Stalin? As Marc Antony says in “Julius Caesar,” “The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones.”
Where then, is Ailes’ good?